


Finally

by MelindaCoulson4



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, he finally speaks, phil isn't mute just trapped in his own head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14408031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelindaCoulson4/pseuds/MelindaCoulson4
Summary: Post 5x18 + philinda getting their moment





	Finally

He finds her in the cockpit. Everyone else has long since cleared out. When she didn't exit the zephyr with the rest of them he'd waited a few minutes thinking she was just collecting herself. After more than five minutes he'd climbed up the ramp and made his way to her, unable to stay away.   
  
She's still sitting in her seat, facing forward, back stiff as a board with fingers digging into the armrests.   
  
Without a second thought, he plops down into the seat next to her. Gaze flickering to her face, he spots her lips pressing together into a thin line. What really draws his attention is her eyes. They tell the real story.   
  
They're pointed towards the flight screen in front of her as if she's studying it, but he knows better. She has the far away gaze that he's become so accustomed to over the years. The one where he knows she's not really seeing anything, instead focusing on her thoughts. Stuck in her own head and in the process of shutting down.   
  
This isn't surprising. She'd called him on their trip back and explained what happened. The tone of her voice already told him that she was having a hard time with it. The detachment bled through as she rattled off exactly what happened as if she was reporting to her supervising agent: purely facts detailing casualties and injuries, nothing else. Once she finished, the line went dead. Obviously she wasn't ready to talk then. He thinks that she might be now.    
  
They're both at a loss for how to help the team. It seems like every time they all try to work together it only breaks them further. Some event always occurs that causes another crack in the foundation that is their team.   
  
"I imagine that was a rough flight," he begins, watching her closely to gauge her reaction.   
  
Blinking rapidly, her head turns towards him as she snaps out of the trance- revealing everything, all emotion swirling there. Sometimes it still catches him off guard how much she's changed. How open she's become with him over the last year, unafraid to show him how she's feeling. Her furrowed brow tells him she's worried and actively trying to come up with a solution. The weight lies heavily upon her shoulders. She’s tired, but above all sad. Seeing the team go through so much in such little time without a chance to regroup has taken its toll on them all. Especially May who has always prided herself on the role of being their protector. She'd said so herself: _'if I can't protect the team then what?'_  
  
"They fought the whole time. They can barely be in the same room together," she tells him quietly.   
  
Once she says it, he understands that she isn't exaggerating. He'd witnessed the aftermath first hand. Yo-Yo came storming off the zephyr first, blood spattered on her sweater, brushing past him without a glance. Then Fitzsimmons, walking slower with their arms wrapped around each other's waists. Not one of them met his eye. Daisy came next, apprehensive steps leading her down the ramp. Her head stayed down as she walked right by him, obviously not in the mood to talk.   
  
There's nothing he or Melinda can do in this moment for them.   
  
But he can fix what he's done in their relationship. Or at least try his best to mend the trust that he's broken. He'll give her something after she's shared so much of herself already.   
  
"I......wanted.......I." He pauses, unable to find the right words. Nothing he can say seems adequate enough for her. She leaves him breathless as his heart pounds with need for her.   
  
"I'm tired, Phil." She sighs, turning away from him and shutting him out (in more ways than one). He knows that physically she must be tired after battling the robots but she would never admit it. This time, she's referring to emotional tiredness.   
  
It's no surprise that she's tired of his continual hesitation- of him and his inaction. She told him she loves him and he hadn't said a damn thing back. Instead, he stared at her completely puzzled, shocked, and dumbstruck. Then, the second time she gave him a chance to speak he fell into the same trap: staring at her in silence, mouth opening and closing with no words coming out.   
  
She's given him every opportunity to speak up, but he keeps letting her down.   
  
Now, the hand of fear is gripping his ankles once again threatening to drag him down.  
  
"I know." He nods, hand squeezing his knee in an attempt to release some of the pent up anxiety.   
  
Any other time he runs his mouth too much. Except for when it counts, it seems. The picture he is painting for her must be incredibly terrible. She probably thinks he doesn't feel the same way and doesn't know how to let her down gently. Regrets and doubts are undoubtedly at the forefront of her mind.   
  
This is Melinda and he needs to tell her the truth before he does too much irreparable damage.   
  
"This is hard for me. You're...honestly....you're out of my league," he says, eyes flickering to the floor and focusing on his boots, unable to look at his best friend as he reveals how he truly feels.   
  
To have someone like Melinda tell him that she feels something so deeply for him just blows his mind. All of the assets that she has. How empathetic she is towards others. Her heart so large and she's chosen to love him out of all people. He still can't get over it. No matter how many times he reminds himself that she said it sometimes he thinks it was all a dream.   
  
She scoffs, head snapping back to shoot him a glare, pinched eyes unable to believe him.   
  
"You are and I don't want to mess up what we already have. I don't want to hurt you," he confesses, voice catching at the end, overwhelmed by the pressure riding on this moment.   
  
He'd never want to ruin their friendship. It's the one thing that has always been a constant in his life. Her presence and support being exactly like his physical right hand. To take the risk and destroy what they already have would be unbearable. Or to die soon and leave her devastated. He doesn't want to do that to her after already hurting her so many other times throughout the years.   
  
"I'm already hurting and you're the only one that can make it better," she admits, face softening- the stress lines disappearing as she waits for his response.   
  
She's giving him yet another chance and he's taken aback by how amazing she is. Her honesty takes his breath away.   
  
Above all else he wants to make her feel good, to take the hurt away for just a little while.   
  
He swallows thickly, trying to muster up all of his courage. "Okay," he responds, voice deep with want. He's tired of fighting this and pushing her away. He'll show her exactly how he feels.  
  
He scoots to the edge of his seat, close enough to her now that their knees brush. The nerves in his legs jump excitedly in response to her touch.   
  
He focuses in on her lips, blatantly staring, unashamedly letting her know exactly what his intentions are with his gaze. He watches as her eyes rapidly move from his lips to his eyes. The air between them crackles with promise. Both of their gazes remain heated and heavy.   
  
She isn't pulling away and neither is he. There's no sign of her being uncomfortable, which settles his nerves. Usually one of them breaks the moment for fear of overstepping boundaries, but now there are none and his heart flutters with that knowledge.   
  
Taking the final plunge, he closes the last few inches of space between them. The heated breath from her mouth hits his face as he presses their lips together gently.   
  
_Finally._    
  
They both stay frozen and connected until he leans into her space a little bit more. The movement seems to spur her lips to part. His bottom lip slides between her lips as she lightly sucks at it.   
  
His hands are drawn to her body. His left slides through her hair and to the back of her head, holding her to him. The palm of his right hand ends up pressed against the armrest of her seat as her hand lands on his right bicep, grasping it firmly in her grip.   
  
Turning his head to the side, he changes the angle of their kiss and her mouth follows his. They stay fused together, each pushing against the other with equal parts of passion and gentleness. He could get lost in her kiss forever.   
  
_I love you so much_ , he thinks. That thought keeps the fire within him burning. He wants her to sense it in his actions before he says it aloud.   
  
A small moan leaves her throat and vibrates against his mouth, causing him to falter for a second. Then, his grip on the back of her head tightens, not enough to hurt as he tugs on a few strands of hair to signal just how turned on he is. It doesn't take much these days. A brush of her body against his and he'll be gone. It's been a while for him. Rosalind was the last woman he'd been intimate with. If they keep this up there won't be any turning back.   
  
Just as her tongue swipes against his open mouth they're interrupted.   
  
"Hey I wa- no way!"  
  
He growls as they break apart and realizes that their kiss has been broken all because of Deke.   
  
The hand he has on her head slides down to rest on her shoulder, keeping them connected, but less on display.   
  
_He'll kill Deke._    
  
They both snap their heads towards Deke, shooting daggers with their eyes.   
  
"You guys!" Deke grins at them, showing all his teeth in excitement at finding them like this.   
  
If Phil had an icer right now he'd be tempted to send a burst towards Deke just to get him to stop.    
  
Realization crosses Deke's features as his eyes widen and the smile slips from his face. Raising his hands in surrender, he begins taking steps backward out of their vicinity. "Okay...uh...I'm...sorry," he says, tripping on his own two feet, shoulder slamming into the wall behind him as he tries to get away.  
  
He's gone just as fast as he came.   
  
Phil forgets all about Deke and remembers that Melinda, the woman he loves, is in front of him.   
  
Their eyes lock. He sees that she's unsure and clearly questioning herself as her eyes dart away after only a few seconds.   
  
It's then that he realizes he still hasn't said anything. He hasn't given her anything except a kiss.   
  
_You have to make this right, Phil_.   
  
He lifts his hand and rests it against her cheek, reveling in her soft warmth. Cupping her smooth skin, he brushes her hair back so he can get an unobstructed view of her eyes. Now he's got her attention. He breathes deeply once more, settling his stomach.  
  
"You mean everything to me. I love you," he says confidently. He's never been so sure of anything in his life. But this, he knows it's real and true. If possible he swears his heart would be connected to hers.   
  
A relieved smile breaks out on her face.   
  
_Beautiful. So beautiful._    
  
The decades old weight lifts from his shoulders. His worst kept secret finally out in the open. He loves her and she loves him. The Invisible force field that they'd put up so long ago will never come between them again.   
  
She grabs the front of his dark t-shirt and eases him towards her. She leans in this time, roughly attaching her lips to his, passion bleeding through and curling around his body.   
  
And just like that their boundaries are fired out the window never to return. 

  
  
They're _finally_ together.

//end//

 

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and kudos as always! Thanks for reading :)


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